ADHD and ADD are not hair products, but when you apply L’Oreal Studio’s “out of bed, fibre putty” to your hair, you have a “long lasting messed up effect” which aptly your marriage and your life if your partner has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperactivity and Impulsivity (ADHD) and you do not seek out advice.
ADHD / ADD – Disorders that Don't Wash Away
The difference is between hair gel and ADHD/ADD, you can choose whether, when, and how you use your hair styling products, and you can wash them out. ADHD and ADD are not that easy to manage. This article focuses mainly on attention deficit disorder not ADHD but the advice is useful for those who are living wit hboth diisorders.
ADHD / ADD - Disorders or Just Forgetful and Disorganised?
Twenty years ago, I never heard of the biological neurological problem – Attention Deficit Disorder. Of course my partner showed signs, but how could I have known back then that those ever reoccurring mishaps were indicators of brain chemical dysfunctions and not bad luck. Coming from different countries and upbringings, I put them all down to the male brain, cultural differences and messages getting lost in translation. Not until I was drawn to the field of learning disabilities and disturbances did I fully realise that I was a practitioner not only at work but also at home.
You Never Know When ADHD / ADD Will Turn Up
The problem with all the problems connected to ADD is that they are inconsistent in their timing, nature and damage level. It isn’t just a matter of misplacing the car keys or not finding a wallet or missing a wedding or important event because you turn up the day after, or you can’t find the location; these become fairly normal incidences after a while. ADD infiltrates every area of your life.
ADHD / ADD Impartial Choice of Victims
In fact, ADD is actually impartial to its type of prey. Bills, phone numbers, receipts, guarantees, tickets, money-off vouchers, insurance claim forms and passports are all potential victims; they have "lose me" written all over them. So do sunglasses, keys and watches. It's just a matter of time. Dates and times for restaurants, flights, concerts, dentists, doctors and school activities have no chance. They will be forgotten or misremembered and you will arrive too early, too late or not at all.
ADHD / ADD Fight Off Marital Intervention
To make things worse, ADD has its own defences. It will dispose quickly of all the well-intentioned gifts bought in order to combat this disorder: diaries, Filofax systems, Palms, iPods, iPhones, blueberries, Blackberries and raspberries – will all disappear into the sea of “I can’t remember where I left it.”
So, if you feel that you are in a constant state of anguish about that important person in your life because his or her forgetfulness, inattention, procrastination and disorganisation are simply "doing your head in,” it is possible that he or she is suffering from ADD.
Typical Attention Deficit Signs to Watch For
Here are a few behaviours that occur on a regular basis that you might recognise in your partner:
- loses things
- forgets things
- misplaces objects
- cannot find objects
- cannot remember – not the same as forgetting!
- makes mistakes – especially filling out forms and checking detailed information
- thrives in mess
- puts things off
- doesn’t finish jobs
- has selective attention – only for things he / she selects
- focuses on the irrelevant at inappropriate times
Forgetfulness is not Necessarily an Attention Deficit
But of course, not everyone who loses their keys has Attention Deficit Disoder. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR), a number of symptoms have to have started before the age of six and have to have been constantly present for at least six months. Nevertheless, in order to cope with marriage in the world of ADHD or Attention Deficit Disorder you have to understand it. Read ADHD/ADD Attention Deficit Disorder – Marriage Interference for more advice.
Lesley Lanir - Freelance writer, lecturer and teacher trainer Lesley Lanir, writes on foreign language learning disorders, linguistics, and literature.
